7/22
i made it a routine to write down something everyday. The important thing is that you don't betray your belief, that all the great things in your life came after your efforts. There were days that you felt dismayed, such as when you could no longer expect good stuff, or good relations with others. Still, there were days you felt happy, when you were able to hear something from others, and accompanied by your love. You hold on because of this.
Dismayed-使不熱中; 使幻滅
7/25
there is something in our life that we prefer not to have it yet can't dispense with it. you say we are destined to be tasked with the burdens of seeing our nearest and dearest sound and safe. yet in fact you saw none of them near or dear to you. they show up only when you are ill or on the verge of dying. that's the most miserable thing you will face in your life time. but you don't want to spend your life that way. you want to have someone taking care of you all the time. it's a pity that few of us are so lucky. we are just looking for ways to share things with others, with so little chance of finding our mate. so, you learn, life is not so easy for us all.
1.Dispense-免除; 解除; 赦免
2.mate-另一伴
3.Destine-命運注定, 注定
7./26
the outside powers form a great threat to me. they are people of fame and
influence, doing things based on the inherent superiority of their status,
resolving not to see things in any other ways than theirs. if you dare to expose
your works, you will see yourself in instant danger of being annihilated,
without being taken into account seriously. Why so? because you're not
relating to them, not belonging to any prominent groups, unable to assert
yourself in whatsoever way possible. that makes me timid, like always before.
es to your showing in this place? awesome, isn't it? people got such rewarding
not without reasons,as they are able to present something fascinating,
something favored by the general public. so, if you want to be known,
you've got to do that in a massive way. nobody can survive the competition
in this age of internet without harnessing the full power of social networking
service. that's why i started saying things to tout myself--formerly not my
style--as i've found refining onesel in a subdued way is a futile effort, writing
fictions a private business, not to be shared, as few will rack their brains out
for such difficult things.
Abruptly 突然, 猝然, 突兀 superiority 優越, 卓越, 優勢, 優秀 annihilate毀滅, 殲滅, 徹底消滅
assert斷言, 力陳, 主張, Tout招客; 招攬
Futile-無用的; 徒勞的
Rack-使痛苦; 使折磨
7/28
you are entering into a stage where you are left to handle your mental business on your own.
that's OK with me as soon i'll have a big occasion to talk other things about me. the strange thing
in this world is that things always came to you unexpectedly, abruptly, while you are at pains to
figure out answers to your great expectations. so, how do you feel when you got more than 1,000 "yes"
respons⋯⋯
Abruptly 突然, 猝然, 突兀
8/2
my mantra so funny. so, what's the thing that is convincing? what's the law you will obey? how could you
inspire people to follow the way of self-fulfillment? by subduing yourself, you found the prospect not so
promising. always, you were thwarted by the unexpected, frustrated by your inability to dictate the mind,
make things look simple by showing your beliefs. from time to time, you were forced to sing a different tune,
to pretend you're mediocre, not belonging to the genre that should be worshipped. that's the stark reality you
are facing. in no way could you escape that limbo to let your craft fully recognized, unless you keep on fighting,
continue to hone your skills, to find the state of immense purity that dazzles all. so how can you disgrace
yourself by submitting to the downward spiral? how can you do things against your will?
1.Mantra-頌歌,聖歌,咒語
2.limbo-不安定的狀態, 中間過渡地帶
3.Mediocre-平庸的, 中等的
4.Hone-磨鍊
5.Genre-類型, 形式, 式樣
6.dazzle-使驚訝; 使驚奇
7.Disgrace-污辱; 羞辱
8.downward—往下的
9.Dictate-口述筆錄; 口授; 聽寫
8/2
my flirtation with abstract thinking has gone off the deep end. i could no longer find anyone who would delve
into the world i present. i was left alone to view it in retrospect. i couldn't see if it is flawless or still with flaws.
i just couldn't judge it when i am still searching for my soul, perplexed at the capriciousness of human being.
now you know you were wrong to believe in things that never happened, to think that you could get what you want a
t old age, as you are in decline, unlikely to attain the goal you set for yourself. or, do you still think you could defy odds?
stupid!
1Flirtation-調情, 打情罵俏, 不專情2.delve -探究, 查考, 鑽研3.flaw-瑕疵4.Defy-反抗; 違抗5.odd-奇怪的事物6,capriciousness-任性,善變7.Abstract 抽象的I began to look at things with different attitude, because people tend to read mewith their limited knowledge of the world, they don't even know my revelation involvesonly my secular pursuits and my aesthetic experiences. It's too bad people keepmisunderstanding me. They listen to others instead of me, for the reason that mylanguage is not persuasive or compelling, my personality not promine⋯⋯1.Secular-世俗的; 現世的2.Persuit -追求3. Aesthetic-美學的; 審美的; 藝術的
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